Dear Celine,

I don't know how to break this news to you, but I want a divorce.

I can't take it anymore! You go around touching other girls so intimately right in front of me all the time and never stop to think about how I feel?! I know i haven't been the best of wives, Celine, but what have I done for you to torment me so?! You don't allow me to touch you and you're crap in bed, but you dare fondle with other girls and even smack the guys' butts! I am really very disappointed in you, Celine.

You have left me with no choice but to file for a divorce. I'll be moving in with my lover, Jiwon. Yes, we have been having an affair, but at least we don't do it in plain view! We are planning to get married soon. I hope you won't come running up the alter with a bloodied knife. You'll receive a letter from my attorney soon.

Without Wax,
Kellie