1) We can fit two years worth into a month.

2) Re-take? What’s a re-take? We get it right first time.

3) We have incredible endurance.

4) No matter how much work we have, we can still make free time for ourselves.

5) We can serenade our partners in at least 2 different languages.

6) Our Physicists are experts at handling the forces between two objects.

7) Our Biologists know their way around the human body better than any other 6th form student.

8) The chemistry in a relationship is mere child’s play to our higher Chemists.

9) Our Mathematicians’ knowledge of projectile motion means that things will never get messy – unless you want them to.

10) We are experts at getting the maximum amount of work done with the least amount of effort.

11) Because we do it with creativity, action and (give you a) service.

12) We have experience in extended activity.

13) We can take it to a Higher Level.

14) "A-level students are like tired old bangers; they'll do the job, but it'll be a bit boring. IB students go like Ferraris."

15) Our English syllabus puts a lot of emphasis on oral assessment.

16) No need for modules here; we do it all in one go.

17) It's widely recognised that IB is longer and harder.

18) Haven't you seen the IB people wandering around saying how fucked they are?

19) We're used to going all night long.

20) Our Computer Scientists can push all the right buttons.

21) Our Economists know just how to supply what you demand.

22) A session with one of our Pyschologists will relieve stress and help you sleep at night; and I'm not talking about Insomnia Therapy.

23) We IBers fall asleep in class so that we can get more done at night.

24) Experiments conducted around the world have at last confirmed what we have long suspected: sleeping with an IB student can in some cases double the IQ of a student doing a less rigorous qualification.

25) Our Group 4 students are fearless when it comes to experimentation.

26) We treat you like we treat our homework - we slam you on the table and do you all night long.

27) Thanks to TOK, we have several different methods for getting to 'know' you.

28) We go beyond doing just what we have to do, to make things more interesting.

29) Our Geographers know what to push and how to pull.

30) If you want, we work well in larger groups.

31) We can think creatively and come from all sorts of new angles.

32) Essays aren't the only long thing we can pull out of our pockets at a moment's notice.

33) Our musicians will bring things to a slow swell followed by a climax.

34) Our Design & Technology students know just what materials and methods are right for you.

35) We can assess you both externally and internally.

36) Hey, we do need some reason to sleep.

37) We're willing to try new methods to get better results.

38) We've never been known to finish early.

39) It's not just our essays that are extended.

40) Like variety? We're international!

41) Our Historians will make it a night to remember.

42) Our Business students know all the right places to do their business.

43) Give the Kama Sutra to an IB student, and they won't just read and remember, but analyse and improve.

44) Our Visual Arts students aren't just aesthetically pleasing.

45) IB students aren't just better prepared for college academically.

46) Our Design & Technology students can handle a short nail or a long screw.

47) We penetrate topics from every direction.

48) Our Music students will get you into the rhythm.

49) Our Environmentalists know all about getting dirty.

50) We're all-rounders, by which we mean we're all around 'er.

51) Our Theatre students can play any part you want them to.

52) Our Mathematicians are always looking to have sec^2 x once they've differentiated tan x.

53) It's long, hard and rough to begin with, but worth it at the end.

54) High stress levels reduce the chance of pregnancy.

55) Our Musicians are great with their fingers.

56) Our schedules aren't the only things that are inflexible.