1 We all have 20 cousins. On each side of the family.

2 Infant Baptism isn't dumb; it's after-life insurance.

3 The signs we make aren't just a mark of respect, they're a lot of fun to do.

4 Every Catholic Guy tries to sit next the really hot girl they like at Mass. THis is because they really want to hug during "Peace Be With You" and hold hands for the "Our Father"

5 We really like statues. A lot.

6 After every confession, everyone hits themselves on the head. This is because they have realized that they forgot that really big sin, and they know that it'll hang over their head til the next time.

7 The 14 Stations has nothing to do with TV.

8 "Peace Be With You" is just a way to meet pretty girls.

9 We've always been taught that celibacy til marriage is the only way to go, forever and ever, amen. That being said...

10 "Sin on Saturday. Pray on Sunday. Confess on Monday".

11 The Mass doesn't start for a few minutes not because of tardy parisihioners. It's because the priest is running late.

12 The Virgin Mary is not a God and we don't treat her as such. But she is without sin, gave birth to Jesus and did it without having sex. That warrants more than a little respect.

13 11:00 a.m. Mass means 11:15.

14 There are two very different, irreconcilable factions in every single church in the world. They are known as the Saturday or Sunday Mass bunch.

15 You miss JPII more than you miss some relatives... but who misses that child molester uncle anyway?

16 Bake Sales are a way of life.

17 Your knees are more calloused than your feet.

18 Priests have been giving us alcohol since we were little kids. No wonder any one of us can drink Protestants under the table.

19 Mass is nearly unchanged after almost 2000 years. We're a little stubborn.

20 Catholic School Girls.

21 You either love or hate the Stations of the Cross. There is no middle ground.

22 We all know Da Vinci code is bogus and inaccurate. Yet we'll still read it if nothing else is goin on.

23 We have Midnight Mass so there are no interruptions on Christmas morning

24 There's no way to explain it, but Catholic girls are just scorching hot.

25 There's no need for impromptu prayer; you can always fall back on the Rosary.

26 Pope Benedict XVI scares you. Badly.

27 It's not uncommon for just one family to take up an entire pew or two.

28 When in doubt, say a Hail Mary.

29 Whenever anyone in Star Wars saga says "May the Force Be With You", we get the urge to say "And Also With You"

30 The Pope does indeed wear a funny hat. But it's way more interesting than Joel Osteen's suit and tie.

31 If you see a guy leaning forward, looking half-dead with his head on the pew in front of him... he's not praying. He's hungover and was guilted into coming to Mass anyway.

32 Even though you never met her or been to a country she's been in, you're still willing to have "seen" a miracle by Mother Teresa.

33 We're the oldest Christian religion. Period.