My Best Friend's Girl
Shreya slept with my fiance and even has his child, but he does not know.
After spending two years trying to remove them from my life,
Shreya writes me a letter on my birthday.
She has cancer. She is dying, but she still has a daughter to look after.
She calls me down to the hospital and gets me to adopt her child.
After signing the adoption papers, Shreya dies.
Leaving me with a five-year old girl in my already scrwed up life.

my pet cat is called pussy
my pet dog is called bitch
my pet baboon is called your hairy butt

PUSSY! IT'S TIME FOR BED!
BITCH! WANNA GO OUT FOR A WALK AND HAVE SOME FUN?
IT'S TIME TO BATH, YOUR HAIRY BUTT!