Her Royal Highness Kellie Jane Shae’s First Royal Decree of Her Life

Born on the 17th of January, 1993, Her Royal Highness (HRH) Kellie Jane Shae is exceptionally brilliant. She was qualified to attend the best universities at only age 5; however with the unexpected arrival of an especially annoying little pest, her academic plans were put on hold. Due to the long break from universal studies, HRH Kellie decided to continue with her studies, as a normal 7-year-old child, and to attend only the very best school for her age, Raffles Girls’ Primary School.

Now, the thoughtful HRH Kellie is studying at the lowly Bukit Batok Secondary School as she had chosen, without the knowledge of her parents, to put in only 7% of her effort into the Primary School Leaving Examinations, and thus, had only attained a miserably low score of 232/300, so as not to set too high a standard for her younger brother, who, unfortunately, did not inherit her Father’s genius.

Apart from being amazingly bright, HRH Kellie has the looks that could kill even the most ruthless assassin in the world. Also, HRH Kellie has a fabulous fashion sense, though she hates following trends. Most of the time, she would simply throw on anything she feels like wearing, but she capably makes it the next new thing.

Furthermore, HRH Kellie is wonderfully kind and tactful. She harbours an incredibly generous intention of ruling this pathetic and undeserving world. Under her rule, this world shall flourish beyond all expectations, politically and economically.

With HRH Kellie’s completely logical scientific, geological and mathematical university findings, HRH Kellie shall revive the Lost City of Atlantis by simply raising it from the sea. She shall also relocate the Lost Kingdom to a geologically perfect location befitting for a queen; peaceful and gorgeous like Singapore. The kingdom shall be HRH Kellie’s sanctuary, and those who disrupt the calmness of her quiet world shall die a horrigible death.

However, HRH Kellie shall not rule alone. She shall have an extremely capable assistant, Shreya Padmanabha Bhat, who will take up the post of Royal Senior Minion (RSM). RSM Bhat shall work alongside the Royal Bed Warmer (RBW), however, that post is currently unoccupied. The RBW must be hot, smart and funny, like the drop-dead gorgeous HRH Kellie. Also, the RBW shall be HRH Kellie's Royal Chauffeur (RC), and shall drive her around in the Royal Yellow Lamborghini (RYL).

Currently, HRH Kellie is waiting for a message from the God of Above to open the skies and for it to, hopefully, start raining men, so that every single woman shall find their perfect other halves. However, HRH Kellie has a standing policy to be over Bed Warmers, though this policy is simply waiting to crumble into pieces, like a sitting duck.

Thou who read this monologue shalt be enlightened.